Standing at Brickhouse Tavern in the heart of Davidson, North Carolina, I awaited some long time friends who had been a part of my life since grade school.  It was 2009 and our high school days had long been over and the college memories we once had were soon fading away into our new and very different seasons of life.  One was a newlywed, the other was patiently waiting on her one day husband and I had just welcomed home my second baby.  We chatted about only God knows what, but over a glass of wine and something fried, I remember this night as being the night that a deep seed was planted in my life.

Dinner was almost over and as we were closing out the night, my friend sat across from me and started a conversation about my blog.  I had just written a post about my anniversary and from there she went on to say words that even she probably doesn't remember.

"I always knew you were a good writer in school, but I didn't know you were as good as you really are."  

I remember standing there and I am sure that my unconfident-self mumbled something with humility or a meek thank you, but on the inside I found myself leaping and surprised.  Something resonated inside of me and I left that night knowing that what she said had MEANT something.  Something deep.

You see, I started my blog in 2009 for an outlet of creativity and expression.  I was a stay at home mom with a desire to get outside of myself and my daily stack of to-do's and speak words of encouragement to others who may be enduring this same, exciting but also at times very lonely season of staying at home with little ones.  I started writing with very little words and a few pictures of my cuties (here is my very first post).  Over time, I began adding more words and extra doses of confidence.  With each post I would add a little more personal detail and take small steps of bravery in sharing what I was learning as my faith in Jesus grew, but was also still very young and new. When Wade Nagy lost his job, the safe place of blogging about cute kids and mommy moments soon took a turn down the road of real, raw emotion and hard places of asking God for miracles, provision and new opportunities.  You all journeyed with us and it was during this time that not only did our faith grow in our Creator, but I realized that He was using my very story of strife and hardship to minister to others in their hard seasons.  I learned that during this time the best way to get out of my hard place of anxiety and doubt was to spend some time in front of the computer writing all the inner parts of my heart for all of you so that our testimonies could encourage one another.  I learned that people actually wanted to hear what God was doing in our life, even when it was hard to bare and walk through.  People cared and more so, people needed hope.  God was creating hope through my blog, through my story and in turn, He was giving me life by simply sharing my heart.

I would watch in amazement as many of you would share my words and how God used my stories, experiences and thoughts to minister to your hearts.  Overtime, I created this confidence in knowing that usually when I LEAST wanted to write and even more when I least wanted to share it to the facebook world, was when He was using me the most.

Over the last 7 years, you have journeyed with our family through our beginning stages of parenthood, family adventures and birthday celebrations.

You have ventured into the hard places with us as we endured job losses, Medicaid, food stamps and survival that only came because of our God and His many people that helped us along the way.

You celebrated with us when the miracle job came and you watched our family step into our first big journey together as a family of four.

You rejoiced with us when our family multiplied from 4 to 6 in a short amount of time and you have read about the miracles of healing and supernatural breakthrough when our babies were still in the womb.

You encouraged us and supported us in our dreams of homebuilding, starting our own businesses and my desires to design and create something new out of old, unwanted things.

You were my cheerleaders when I poured out my heart when God pried open my hands and moved me to Florida, leaving behind so many comforts and people I loved.

It has been a whirlwind of a journey, where some days have seemed like an eternity, while the years have slipped through my fingers bringing much perspective to just how fast this life is really going by.

Which is why...  I am writing my very last post on this blog.  

One of the many things that I have learned this past year is, in order to move forward in the new, you must allow God to lay down the old.  We constantly tend to want to drag old luggage into the new season that God is trying to create and sometimes, we just need to leave it on the baggage claim.

I have learned that my sentimental personality is constantly being challenged and molded and that He has some really awesome, NEW things for me down the turn pipe but I just can't keep carrying what He did for me in the past into what He wants to do for me in the future.

So I am laying it down.
Today, I am writing my last blog and closing the door to This Whole House for good.
I feel myself going back to the words that my friend spoke to me sitting at the booth of Brickhouse Tavern.

I love to write.  I always have.  I am not sure how good I am at the actual writing part, after all I am a horrible speller and I often get too lazy to proofread and edit like I probably should.  But I love when God uses me and our story.  And even behind closed doors, my pen hits the paper almost daily.  But as for now this is my new season.  A season of where God continues to write our story without the public platform.

So goodbye, This Whole House.  Thank you for being a place that I could share my life with others and watch God speak through it.  Thank you for growing my confidence through the successes AND the failures.  And Thank YOU for reading.  Thank you for all the kind words, encouragement and motivation over the last 7 years.  I truly value you who have journeyed with us.

Sincerely,
Tiffany Nagy
(and all of the Nagy people who live in this whole house)

As we approach a year of being on our journey into the unknown, I have noticed that my emotions seem to be across the board wavering from day to day.  I know that as women this is one of our greatest gifts, allowing us to carry the compassion and heart of Jesus, but without control these emotions can cause us to venture into territories that are outside of where God is calling us to be.

Over the last month, I have ventured into this place far too often that I would like to admit.  I would awake ready to conquer my day and before 8am, I would find myself in shambles, unable to control my emotions or even put into words what was wrong.  Because honestly, everything seemed wrong.  My kids were crying too much, school was not going my way, I was too busy, but yet I had nothing to do.  I hated living in Florida, but yet I knew that God was calling us to stay put and not jump ship because of our lack of comfort.  I was so happy to finally be in a house, after 9 months in an apartment but yet I was stressed about the lack of funds to decorate or the things that "needed to be done." I was the dripping, nagging faucet spoken of in Proverbs and I knew it.

I felt crazy inside and I think I was.

I knew that my emotions had taken too much precedence in my life and that I needed to gain control. I was watching a sermon by Lisa Bevere and it struck me to my core.  Reading my Bible and encouraging myself through sermons and books have been the only thing that has helped me through this season of change, but something about this sermon spoke straight to my heart and confirmed what I already knew.

I had laid down my sword.

I had allowed my circumstances, my thoughts, my sadness to take a higher priority in my life than the blessings that surrounded me.  I could not get my stance on sturdy ground because I was filling my life with sinking sand.  I was filling my mind with what "I didn't have" and losing sight of what was right in front of me.  I had allowed my sense of lack to take control and the enemy was having a blast with stealing my joy.

But as I let God use the words of Lisa B. to penetrate through my spirit, I began to pick up my sword.  I was reminded of powerful prayers.  Not prayers of begging.  But prayers of power and remembering what I was up against.  Prayers that reflect God's heart and use scripture to declare God's will and truth over my life, my circumstances and my emotions.

I fell to my knees when she finished her sermon and I cried.  I cried hard and I repented.

From that place, I was able to stand on sturdy ground for the first time in 2 months.  I felt like my sword had returned and instead of getting angry at my circumstances, I was reminded of the enemy who wants to steal, kill and destroy, which reminded me of my purpose.

His purpose.  Our cause.

Our reason for living this life is so much greater than ourselves.  We are called to be disciples, spread the Good News, share His love by healing the sick, raising the dead and casting out demons.  Our cause is not survival.  It is surrender to Him and through that place, we are able to lay down our circumstances and pick up our sword, God's word and become powerful warriors for His kingdom.

It's not about us.  It's about Him and our surroundings, our emotions are not to control us, but ENABLE us to grow and become stronger for His kingdom.  These emotions can keep us captive in our small worlds of self accomplishment or depression or insignificance, or they can PROMOTE us into seeing life outside of ourselves and a world that is much greater than our inner circles.  Our world is dying and needs a Savior, but because God made us to co-labor with Him, He needs His warriors to live from a place of victory, not defeat.  He is waiting on His bride to rediscover who they are in Him and take a stance on sturdy ground, holding the sword of Truth.  It is through our emotions and our circumstances that we can relate to others, just as Jesus did,  as long as we surrender them all to His purpose.  My story, YOUR story matters.  It all has purpose and it is all a part of His story for the world.

I want to be a daughter that although I may struggle, I can hold my sword.  Holding my stance against the schemes of the enemy knowing that My God will use everything to gain momentum for His kingdom and restore life to His children.

Eternity minded.

Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world.

I was trying to write a blog and every thought I had was interrupted.  As I sat across from my 8 year old who was coloring an oversized Elsa and Anna pic, I could not help but notice her inability to just "be quiet."

As a family of 6, we very rarely have a dull moment, much less a moment to ourselves.  This is one thing that I absolutely love about our big, crazy family.  I was an only child and my life was full of moments being alone and adapting to the quiet.  It is probably the number one reason that escaping to my bathroom with a handful of M&Ms is sometimes my greatest victory for the day.  It explains why, when I wrestle with life's questions that I usually tend to want to be alone.

However, with 3 sisters and a house that is under 1200 square feet, my oldest is lucky to even a minute of silence.

So when the youngest came down with pink eye and the other two were off with daddy retrieving the needed meds, I found myself sitting across the table from a little girl that was incapable of sitting in silence.

It led me to think about the women of today, living in a non-stop society full of billboards reminding us that self-achievement and hustle are all part of what it means to be successful.  That being idol for even a moment represents lack of productivity and that if you want to make it in this world, being busy is how to do it.

I love to hustle.  I love to be busy.  And checking off my list gives me a sense of pride, accomplishment and determination.  It makes me feel important.

But all of this without the ability to be still before the Lord and breathe in what He is saying only builds a false sense of identity.  Soon, your hustle, your need to be busy will only create a person that you never meant to become.

A busy human-being, lacking real purpose and real happiness.

I want my daughters to learn my work ethic and my drive to be successful.  But I want even more for them to see me be still before the Lord.  I want them to remember me on my knees posturing my life before the Lord.  Not just successfully managing my household.

How we work is important.  But if that is all we ever do, our fruit will be labor in vain.  Being still before the Lord and allowing Him to guide and direct our "busy-ness" is the Miracle Grow needed to produce the fruit that lasts for Eternity.  And if you have lack a green thumb like I do, then you know Miracle Grow is a key element to a beautiful garden.

As my oldest hummed, made funny burping noises and wrestled on her knees to sit still, I simply said, "it's okay to be silent. to be still."

I watched her countenance change and she became comfortable in the need to not say anything at all. She resumed coloring and it was the moment of silence we both needed for those 10 long minutes before the rest of the tribe came busting in the door.

It's in those moments of silence that refresh us for the hustle and bustle.  Let's teach our sons and daughters what God taught us on the seventh day.

To Rest.

We all love new things.  It comes natural, especially to the females, that new things bring about some needed spark to our life.  You get new gym clothes, you push yourself a little harder on the treadmill.  You give your car a bath and all of a sudden driving to the every day seems a little less mundane.  You get the idea.  But I think where we get confused (or at least I do) is that in order to receive the new in our lives, we must make room for it by getting rid of the old.

I love that I have a sensitive heart.  It causes me to move out in compassion and sense the desires and needs of people when others may pass them by.  However, if I allow it, my sensitivity can cause me to cling to the old in my life.  My passion to "cherish it all" can cause me to live in the past, prohibiting me from moving forward into my future.  Memories are good and needed in order for us to grow and it's all part of being human (Christ- like), but when these memories cause us to live from the place of "that will never happen again" or "I'll never have that again" and allow us to be trapped in the mundane of "our time has passed" then we are limiting ourselves to a greater purpose and future that God has for all of us.

Here is just one current example.  It's light hearted and as insignificant as it may seem, the emotions of it all were real and something that I have had to navigate through. Almost 8 months ago, our family moved from NC to FL.  We had limited resources and time and our family of 6 packed ourselves in a tiny apartment.  It was fun.  It was tough.  It was needed.  However the last few weeks have been extra challenging due to mold issues and other things and in the end, the Lord blessed us with a "way out" and released us from our lease.  The initial news brought much joy and excitement.  The girls began to get excited about their trampoline and the idea of a garden.  After almost a year in "the box" they were thrilled to partake in some sidewalk chalk and having their bikes close by.

Something NEW had entered my thought process and it seemed to be just what I needed to bring about some change and excitement for our large family.  I began to envision life inside and OUTside of a home for the first time in almost a year and the fact that I would be able to possibly paint and fix up some furniture again, had me soaring with happiness.  However, it wasn't long before these waves of happiness began to change.  I found myself stressing about how this "new" home was really old and small and lacked some of the modern advancements of our tiny apartment.  I began to obsess about the old carpet instead of the hardwoods that I had loved in our NC home and how much better this would be if only it had "pretty" floors.  I also began to fixate my mind on the fact that this process has went wayyyyyyy different than we had imagined.  Were we ever going to be able to buy or build a home?  Would we ever stop moving?  How can I leave behind the memories that have taken place in the apartment in just a few short months yet again?  How many more times would I have to "detach" myself from things?

It was then in His still small voice, I heard
I am always doing something new.  It is up to you on whether you allow me to.

I realized at that moment this is just how it will always be.  We serve a God that never gets old, boring or mundane.  He is constantly creating, doing and moving forward and if we expect Him to change us, lead us and promote us into our calling, we must constantly be in a place of surrender willing to lay down the old and embrace the new.

We read about the Israelites in the Old Testament.  Sometimes I just want to shake them out of their hard headedness.  I mean why in the world do they continue to embrace other idols after every miracle, salvation and word that God has continued to pour out among them.  Why in the world would they continue to choose a gold statue over a God that parts the Red Sea in front of their very eyes.  As hard as it is to read, it is even harder to see ourselves to be just like these stubborn Israelites.

But we are.

We continue to eat from His daily manna, breathing in the miracles of the day all to find ourselves feeling "stuck" in the old.  We forget to realize that in order for His mercies to be renewed every day, we too must awake with anticipation of what the day will bring and be willing and ready to receive the NEW blessings from our Father.  He has all of heaven waiting on us to wake up, ask and then receive.
I think the antidote for "feeling stuck" is being thankful.
Once we can find thankfulness it releases new room within our hearts to receive something NEW that He wants to bring us.

Today, I started my day off asking the Lord to bring about something new.  I had no expectations from Him other than I knew He would deliver, but I told myself that I would live today being more thankful and promised to take more notice in the small things.

Just an hour later while at the gym, God spoke to me through a powerful podcast and I met a new friend.  Both of which would have probably seemed average just the day before, but today it was something NEW and exactly what I needed.  Just like those new workout clothes, seeing the NEWness in my day put some extra pep in my step.  Being born in the image of The Creator, we were made to create and do new things.  We were never meant to live in the mundane, living for only the weekends.  However, it starts with a thankful heart and the eagerness to wake up in the morning and tell ourselves, today is the day God wants to DO something new.

Let's all agree to embrace thankfulness and move forward in His newness daily.  I hope this encourages you in someway and I would love to hear how God is speaking to you.

Today, marks four months since we picked up our life and moved to Florida.  I wanted to write today to update anyone that cares, but I also wanted to document simply because each time I go back in time to read an old blog post, it brings such perspective into my viewfinder that I cannot help but to be grateful for all that God has done.  Some of my most profound words on this blog have come from the middle of a hard place, but yet as I re-read those raw emotions years later, I become grateful that God has chosen me to follow this very path, hard places and all.

It's in the hard places that life is formed.  Renewed and made WHOLE.

So what has happened in 4 months.

The first few months were full of weird feelings of living in an unfamiliar town.  Everything was new.  Even the trips to the grocery store were out of the ordinary and although I was homesick during this time, the sense of adventure of not knowing was something that brought an inner excitement.

Some time around month three, I noticed that I was using my GPS less and that I was driving while day dreaming.  Scary I know, but I think we all do it.  Right?  This brought some feel good feelings and less stressful trips out with all 4 kiddos, but it also brought in some reality.  The reality of... "this is really home."  The idea that we are actually going to stay here, the idea that we are now Floridians and soon we will be changing our license plate (which expired 2 months ago but I have avoided this because I am in denial) over to Florida plates began to sink in and it created even more homesickness.

Some of my greatest friends in the world came to visit followed by a sweet visit from my mom and dad.  For several days, I lost sight of where I was and imagined that I was home again.  Close to family and friends and all things North Carolina.  So you can imagine how I felt when they all left.  I may have went into an M&M eating frenzy and chose to stay in "the box" for a few days longer than I should have.

So why am I telling you all of this?  I promise it isn't to bog you down with depressed feelings or make you feel sorry for me.  Because amidst all of this, has been such beauty.

I tell you this because this has been OUR hard place for this season.  For once it's not finances, or jobs or health.  It's an inner uncomfortable feeling that causes us to ache, but yet it FORCES us to SEEK.  That is what pain does.  As Believers, it causes us to seek out the good in our life and look around to find the beneficial purposes of all of it so that we can move forward and learn what it is that God is trying to teach us.

Amidst all of the loneliness and quietness, has been HUGE words from Him that has assured us we are exactly where we need to be.  During the "down time" has been great revelation and understanding as we read His word in a greater measure than before when we were too busy to sit down and breath.  Amidst the tininess of "the box" has been sweet moments with our girls, intentional time as a family and half way delicious dinners prepared by this mom who once never had time and hated the thought of cooking.  There has been such a rest here that is unsurpassable and it has caused us all to reflect on what is ahead for our family.

It's the beauty in the hard place.

I hope you can find yours.

<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>

keep reading to see a few photo highlights...
 


Although I once said I would NEVER live in Florida (God has such a sense of humor) I do LOVE the warm weather and the beaches it has to offer.




And you know us Nagy's love to eat.  It's been so fun finding our new hot spots to down some yummy food.  This one was fried food galore.  With scenery to match.





Sweet mornings with this one.  Although I have realized that this one has had absolutely NO discipline in her little life and we have had to do some readjusting, it has been so fun learning her personality while the big sisters are in school.  Watching her become a big sister has been such a joy.
And gym time to boot.  Who even had time for that before now?!?!



Hillsong Concerts and time with Wilmington Family who just so happens to be attending South Eastern... so having him near us has been so much fun.
This is us... pretending not to be taking a selfie.




Visits from NC friends and adventuring out to find new places.
This weekend was good for the heart.




Getting to know "old" friends much better than before.  This gal, I have known since 2011.  But now that God has brought our paths closer, I have never been more grateful for this heart of gold that she carries.



Celebrating this little peanut's BIG day.  I may have cried more than appropriate all because the reality of not having a baby any more sunk in, but she had such a fun day.  And I loved playing photographer.





And because we are The Nagy's who love to throw fun, BIG, birthday parties, we invited some of our new friends.  God has blessed us already with some great people and we are looking forward to getting to know these people even more as the time passes by.




So I will leave you with this.  Our time here may seem to "stand still" at moments when the days are long and I ache for familiar faces and places, but looking back over the last 4 months, it is evident that God is working out beautiful things in the unfamiliar territory we now call home.

Every morning I grudgedly wake up and head straight for the coffee.  Which means I go to the couch and wait for my awesome husband to bring me a strong cup.  I bypass the mirror pretty much the whole morning due to the fact that I already know what the reflection will be.  Frizzy hair, pale freckly skin and depending on what my baby decided to sleep the night before, I usually have some sort of bags under my eyes.  Lord help us if I ever had to get out of the car while dropping off my older two at school.  It's usually after the gym that I even begin to address the reflection in the mirror.  On most days I am doing good with a shower... even better days actually consist of bronzer and a curling iron.

BUT.

Despite the reflection I see or the amount of time I have put into my appearance on that day, it usually never fails that I hear a "You're boooootiful mommy" come my way.  Sometimes it's when we are sitting together at the lunch table pondering our goldfish and sandwich and other days it's early in the morning before I have even finished my first cup of coffee.

I remember my older daughters doing this too when they were that age.  The age when double chins and chocolate chip cheeks don't matter.  The age when you can wear pink dresses with holes and still feel beautiful because it's a dress.  The age when you see BEAUTY for what it really is.  The inside.

Today, as the "you're boooootiful, mommy" words came out of her mouth I recognized my response.  The same response that I always give and never really thought about it until today.

"No, You are beautiful."

And then we smile and giggle and sometimes go back and forth saying it.  Today, for the first time I thought about my response.

Why do I respond with a "no"?

I am pretty sure that I have struggled with recieving compliments my whole life.  I am also certain that it wasn't until the last few years that I realized that this inability to receive also affected my spiritual life.  If I can't receive from people in the natural, how in the world will I ever begin to receive from my Heavenly Father in the supernatural.

So today... I switched my response.  I said, "Thank you."
I watched her eyes light up and we giggled.  And then I followed with a "you're beautiful, River" in which she replied, "thank you, mommy."

I want to teach my daughters how to feel beautiful despite what they may see in the reflection.  I want them to sustain the beauty they feel right now, double chins and all, for the rest of their life and in order for me to do that I must teach them how to receive through my own example, so that they will receive the Father's love and encouragement.  Even if it is as simple as learning how to receive a compliment.

My daughter's heart was to encourage me with simple, yet powerful words and now I am going to teach her how to receive that same encouragement back.  The kind that speaks to her heart much greater than an image in the mirror.  The same encouragement the Lord bestows on every one of us when He calls us
His Beautiful Daughters.


I want to nurture my daughter's heart with words of love and affirmation, but more importantly I want to teach them how to open their hearts and receive from the One that created us in every detail and Who will complete the work He began in us and through us.  When we learn to receive from the Father's heart as daughter's of the King, no reflection in the mirror can hinder the beauty we feel from within.

I have been asked several times since we packed up our whole lives and moved our family of 6 from NC to FL almost 2 months ago, why would we do something so extreme if we never wanted to leave what we loved in the first place.  I am guessing those questions arrived from previous Facebook posts about the extreme rain that we've had and comments such as I miss home and of course the plethora of emojis used to describe how much I miss my people.  I have been told by several that you can feel the deep emotion I carried when I decided to write about the beginning stages of this journey and how sad leaving everything we loved behind actually was.

I cannot deny the hardness or the deep ache that I sometimes still feel in large waves when I reflect over the last few months.  I also cannot deny that our home here in Florida doesn't feel like home and if I lay in bed late at night and remember the street I used to live on, tears still fill my eyes because I truly miss that place on Tanbridge Road.  I also cannot deny that I have spoken to someone via phone or text from our previous town almost every day since we moved and that in itself has brought much needed comfort.

So why did we do it?

Today, my girls were out of school due to a maintenance issue and given that this was their first full week of "real" school for these former homeschoolers, I was ecstatic to have another pool day with my girls.  After some serious fun in the sun, we made our way back to the apartment.  This short walk always seems daunting for my 3 year old because she is so worn out from all of the `swimming, therefore everything, including her feet, weighs about 100 pounds.  So you can imagine the extreme whining that takes place on the excursion back.  With every step she rattles off almost every excuse not to keep going.  Anything from I'm hungry or I too tired to My feet won't work.  But with every excuse as to why she can't keep going, she continues to put one foot in front of the other.  Once inside, she knows what will come next... nap time.  As she tries to state her case of why she does not need to go night night, she looks me in the eyes, grabs my shoulders to step into her dry undies, and continues to climb into bed, snuggles herself with her blanket and begins to cry.  As I begin to shut the door, I can see her roll over toward the wall, onto her side as she cries one last plea of frustration.

As I shut my daughter's door today, I couldn't help but to discover the very answer that I have been asked over and over upon moving here.  I had explained it in probably many ways, but this was the first time that He had taken something that seemed complicated in my brain and made it very simple.

An act of obedience isn't always without complaint or groans or questions of why it has to happen this way.  In our experience, an act of obedience has often resembled those in the Bible.  More times than not, when God has asked Wade and I to step in obedience it hasn't been a quick decision or a rapid thought that has entered our mind.  It may have began with an initial thought but it usually follows with a long process.  With every step of obedience has come sacrifice in some area of our life and through this sacrificial obedience has come much growth in our spiritual walk with Jesus.  It's hard and its pruning and it doesn't feel good all the time.

BUT.

Every time, hindsight has shown us in the past 7 years that God is good and because He can see the whole picture He can make decisions that seem to scatter our lives but in reality these decisions are making us whole.

So there is my answer.  Just as my 3 year old walks in obedience despite her complaints, she knows that I love her and that I have taken care of her thus far in her little life.

How much more does my Heavenly Father love me?
SO. MUCH. MORE.

This is why we came.  This is why we packed up a 26 foot truck and left behind what we loved to venture into the unknown.  We trust Him and when He says go, YOU GO.  We may have fought it with our words and our thoughts and we may even have days in the future when we continue to question what He is doing and why He has us here.  Ultimately, we know that He is trustworthy and no matter the sacrifice we make, it doesn't compare to the sacrifice He made when He chose US on the Cross.  Jesus delivered the most important act of obedience when He said YES to the Father that day in the Garden.

When you sit on that one thought, no act of obedience or sacrifice can ever compare to what He did for us.




And just to be clear...
Florida is slowly growing on me.  We miss our friends and family like crazy but we are starting to find some really awesome places and people that make this unknown place feel more and more like home.  We are thankful for what God is showing us and what He is continuing to do in our lives to make way for His ultimate plan.  We are just the vessel and if our act of obedience makes way for the purpose He has of bringing freedom and victory to others, then any sacrifice is worth it.

Plus, with each Home Goods purchase this box feels more and more like a home. :)

Today, we have officially lived in the Sunshine State of Florida for one month.
(This is humorous given that it has rained 80 percent of our time here.)

It's hard to believe that just 4 weeks ago we packed up everything we owned and left the place we love to go on God's great adventure once again.   I remember moving day like yesterday and the very thought still brings strong emotions to the forefront.  I cried when we pulled out of our driveway for the last time watching the moving van load its final load before the drastic haul down South.  I will always remember the prayer from my sweet friend as she wiped away tears from my face standing in the foyer for the very last time.  Just one hour before this very moment, I had nursed my baby in the carpeted floor of our bare bedroom, reminiscing over the weekend when we had moved in and those walls that were once covered with a hideous safari green.  For the last time, we had eaten Chick-fila with our close friends, standing up in our kitchen, fighting over the Chick-fila Sauce while watching the movers through the garage window and offering them a chicken sandwich.  As each box left, the smells of the empty house reminded me of that very day we had closed on our first Wilmington home, just two years (to the date) prior.

As the last load was being carried out, I decided to walk the halls once more and as I did, tears streamed down my face as I let go of what was before in order to step into what was to become.

I prayed over each room and I asked that the same blessings that were given to us in that little home, would multiply for the next buyer and that she would appreciate those walls as much as we did.  As my friend and I stood praying, crying and letting go, I could feel His strength well up inside of me like never before, ready to carry me through the journey ahead.

We spent that last 12 hours with family and friends living it up, soaking up every last ounce of the town that we loved and the people that filled it.  We met friends at the park the evening before we left and all I can say about this was it will forever be imprinted in our minds.  Your words, your faces, your encouragement, your tears... all of it.  You stole our hearts in 4 years, but that memory, that moment when we stood back and saw all of you people there to celebrate our new season, that will be remembered for a lifetime.

The next day and a 12 hour drive later, we had arrived in our new town.  As we drove through the sky line of downtown Tampa around 10:30 that evening, I wiped back my own tears because I was overwhelmed, scared and uncertain by my new normal.  I couldn't possibly fathom how this small town girl was going to make it in such unfamiliar circumstances.  Just before 11pm, we pulled up to our apartment.  Our new home.  The home I had yet to even see.  I believe God had us arrive at night so that I couldn't see "the whole picture" and try to figure it all out.  He simply wanted me to climb up those stairs, go straight into our new place and call it a day.  Tomorrow, would bring new perspective and daylight and He knew it...  Things are a lot less intimidating when the light enters in.

That night, surrounded by boxes, we poured cheap wine into coffee mugs and rested in our new city.  It was overwhelming and sad and exciting and scary and adventurous all in one, but what we recognized right away was that God had been preparing us all along the way.

God had sent Wade 32 days prior to our new city.  He had gone before us, just as our Father does.  He had walked through all of the emotions of being scared and lonely and homesick.  Therefore, in the upcoming weeks, when us ladies would feel those same emotions (but intensified of course because we are women), Wade could then help us walk through them.  Otherwise, I think we would have been one big mess, packed it all back up and called it a short vacation.

Over the past four weeks, we have journeyed this new life together.  We have grown closer as a family in ways that we never imagined and we have navigated through some of the hardest, but yet best of the best times.  We have seen first hand that despite how we may feel, God has us here for a divine purpose and we are excited about the days ahead.

In upcoming weeks, I hope to write about all that God has shown us thus far in our Florida journey and the beginning visions of why we think we are here.  And like most of my 33 years, once again God has highlighted that man may plan his path, but God will determine the steps.

I hope that our story encourages others who are navigating or are about to navigate through unchartered waters.  Possibly, our story will give you the motivation you need to propel you into something that God is calling you to do.  I hope that this glimpse into our life will somehow help you to know that as we may face fear, God has a plan and has gone before us.  As it's been said many of times by some of my favorite people...

Courage is not the absence of fear.  Courage is doing it afraid.

Thanks for journeying with us.

Love,
The Nagy's

Well, a dose of reality finally hit me today.  I think that although I have missed my husband greatly, having the comfort of friends and family to surround and love on me during this time has had me floating around on a surreal cloud of denial, not willing to admit the cold hard truth that I will be moving 641 miles south to a place that I have only stepped foot in for less than 72 hours.

That cloud of denial ended once the smell of cardboard started to invade my home and the goodbyes started coming in quickly from all the special people in our lives.

A good friend from out of town came last week and helped me pack up.  She started when I was at a doctors appointment and when I returned she had so many boxes already packed and bear shelves were staring me down in sadness.  I don't know why this caught me off guard so much... but that is when the inner sting began and I realized that although this was a hard initial act of obedience... it was about to get even harder before it gets easier.  From that time last Thursday until today, I have walked through more emotions than I knew I had.

Moving is hard.  I get that.  I remember feeling the same way when we moved from my childhood hometown to our dream city of Wilmington.  But this time... well it just seems so much more difficult.

Over the past few months I have surrendered my hopes and dreams of what I wanted to "do" to this whole house of ours.  At one time, there was even a hashtag devoted to all of the renovations and goals we had set for this little ranch home of ours.  I walked through for weeks letting my dreams go and giving those over to the Lord saying out loud His promises.  That one day, we would see our dreams of having a home come to pass.

I said goodbye to our Christian school that we had prayed about and literally fought for with all of our financial being to keep our first born in a an environment where she could grow in the things of the Lord and be secure in who she is, while being homeschooled part-time so that she could learn what being a BIG sister really means.  I said goodbye to all of this and once again spoke the words out loud, that God would restore this dream and that He is a much greater Daddy than we could ever be.  He would provide.

I grew and took great pride in a business of redoing furniture.  A gift that I never really knew I had, but found myself loving every minute of it.  I surrendered it once I found out we were moving.  I knew that God was asking me to lay it down for a season.  And it hurt.  I didn't want to give it up, but I once again stated out loud His promises.  One day He would pick it back up when the time was right and it would flow with even more favor than it had before.

And most recently, the stuff.  Over the last 4 days it is almost as if my belongings have grown legs and walked up out of this house of mine.  Wilmington Yard Sales and I have become BFF on Facebook and the girls have grown more and more confused at how many strangers have come to haul off so many things that carry much more than a price tag.  But a memory.  There was the table that I had purchased from a yard sale right out of college that I paid $25 for and struggled to pay that with my new teacher salary.  There was the rug that we began homeschool Kindergarten on and learned how to read while sitting criss cross apple sauce.   There was the blanket chest that we had purchased just two short weeks after our honeymoon.  And so many more.

But out of all this hardness... the thing that wrecks me the most is the people.  I cannot even begin to describe in words how hard this has been to say goodbye to so many people in this town.

When the Lord moved us here just 5 years ago, I remember very clearly standing in the kitchen of our new rental home and crying to Wade about not knowing anyone.  I questioned whether my shy self could ever meet new friends.  I was terrified to drive on the busy roads and what if I got lost?  I was nervous about going to parks by myself and I was even more afraid that I would not "find my place."  What if no one liked me?  I remember all of these fears like they were swirling through my head yesterday.  Looking back, God has proven His mighty power simply by how He has grown me, strengthened me and given me a voice that I didn't know I had.  He is provided me with boldness and grown me spiritually so much that I know without a doubt that I am not the same person I was just 5 years ago.  But through all of that growth, through all of those mistakes of learning my identity and finding my voice, He has given me such incredible friends and community.

Friends who have loved me through all of the hard places.

You loved me through the job losses, the times when I cussed and fell to my knees in discouragement because this life is just REAL hard sometimes.  You loved my children through some of the most difficult seasons we had yet to experience.  When there wasn't groceries, you provided.  When there wasn't Christmas presents, you gave.  When there was no income, you showed up at our doorstep with open hands.  You cooked dinners for this mama when I had babies.  And when my husband left for Tampa.  You have made my girls smile every Sunday when they came to church.  You have spoken beautiful words over their little faces and have given me more journal entries than I can count that one day when they are older, they will read your powerful words and know that God was speaking directly to them.  You visited us with every hospital visit and some of you even helped me celebrate a special 5 year old while her little sister recovered in the pediatric center from a bad case of the flu.  You filled our backyard with every occasion to celebrate our growing family and you supported every business endeavor we have ever attempted.  You shopped our booth when we needed furniture to be cleared out and you hid your tears when we announced we were moving to Florida, simply because you WANTED to be excited for us, despite the real emotion you may have felt.

I cry as I write this.  I just can't write it all.  There is no possible way to put the last 5 years of greatness into a blog that would justify our thankfulness for each person who has been a part of our journey.

The other day, when my friend and I were packing, we took down Wade and I's engagement photo.  It's huge and we paid a ridiculous amount of money for a picture that is too big and shows our every flaw because it's so close up.  But around that over sized picture are words from those that attended our wedding and written in big, bold letters typed in script writing reads the words "The Journey Begins."  I am pretty sure that Wade and I had no clue as to how good, how difficult, how amazing this journey would truly be.  Nor, did we realize how much those very words would take form in two lives that didn't even think of Jesus that much when we decided to "tie the knot."  It's amazing how God has truly prepared a way for us even when we think we can control it.

So... as we begin this new journey and as I navigate through all of the mixed emotions and the sacrifices that I feel come with each new challenge from the Lord, I want to say THANK YOU.  Thank you for loving us the way that you have loved us.  I know there will always be a part of me that will call Wilmington home, no matter where life takes us.

and so... The Journey Begins.  once more.

I am on my second cup of coffee and my fifth chocolate chip muffin.  I always thought that if I were leaving for a deserted island and could only take one thing that it would be caffeine.  This season of living the single life has proven to differ.  let's just hope that when I join my hubs in Tampa that the only wardrobe shopping will be because I need something new, not a bigger waist line. :)

When I was little I spent most of my days at our family barn.  While mom and dad did their thing, us kids put our imagination to good use out in the woods off of a near by horse pasture.  What we created was a home.  It had floors, a mailbox and even an old, rusty wood stove.  I loved it.  Leaving was the hardest part and I always begged my parents for just 5 more minutes of play time.  I remember that as I got older I played there less and less until we no longer spent much time at the "hide away home."  We would drop in every now and then and I would walk back to that section of the woods.  Trees had grown through the floor, the wood stove sank more and more into the mud and pretty soon, our "home" had overgrown into a pile of junk.  It was sad.  And even though my days were spent doing something that I enjoyed better, it was still really hard for me to let go of what was past.  I will always have those memories, but watching it change right before my eyes was hard on my heart.

When I was in 8th grade, my parents decided to build a garage on the left side of our house.  I was so excited when they told me the news.  I had always loved making a home prettier and now we were going to have a real driveway, you know, concrete instead of gravel, that I could ride my bike up and down.  Possibly, I could have a basketball goal, even though I never really liked the sport.  But why not?  We were moving up BIG time.  All of this excitement came to a crashing end once I found out that in order to build the garage, we must cut down the weeping willow trees beside our home.  How could they do that?  Those were the trees that I had spent my childhood days climbing their huge limbs.  Each limb had a different view and if you went really high, the long weeping branches would hide you from everyone around you.  Their big huge roots that stuck out of the ground were where my dog and I would lay together.   His name was Trouble and he was a Lab- St. Bernard mix.  He was gigantic but made to look small when nestled comfortably in those willow roots.  The roots curved around like a fat snake and they were perfect to wrap your body into.  The long branches made awesome fans and feather boas when pretending to be a princess or the Egyptian queen and its leaves were the perfect size to add to my pea soup when cooking from God's nature.  How on earth could my parents erase these precious moments with one day of cutting down these monstrous trees that had spent their whole life forming into something so grand?  But the trees came down, the garage went up and my childhood kept on moving right along.  Pretty soon, I no longer thought about the weeping willows and it was as if the garage had been there all along.

So here we are.   Almost 18 years later and I could write countless books of how many changes and turns my life has taken, especially since making the decision to live for Christ.  But as I write this, I realize that although I have grown from each milestone, it is still very hard for me to cope with change.  I have such strong emotion, such ties to the things, the memories that I love.  My oldest daughter is pretty much my clone as I find my own self frustrated in walking her through the absence of 1 out of 100 stuffed animals that went missing a few weeks ago.  We just get attached to things.

Now, God has me in the waiting room where things are completely unknown.  He is not only asking me to walk away from the things that I love, He is asking me to walk blindly into the things ahead.  This is terribly scary for someone like me, but I am realizing that all along He has been preparing me for a time such as this.  The hideout and the weeping willows are just two of the thousands that He has reminded me of in the last few days.  That when change comes it welcomes excruciating pain within the heart and mind, but it always follows with amazing growth and newness that brings about life to the fullest.

A few weeks ago, I walked through this house and mourned each memory, each mark on the wall and everything I was going to terribly miss.  I had spent so much time in the last two years imagining the walls that would come down, the new flooring that would better our space and the new appliances that would make our kitchen a better home.  Once we realized we were moving to Tampa, I wanted to take a mental picture of every ding, every footprint on the wall and capture every smell and flaw of this whole house that we have spent the last two years making a home.  I cried a lot and Wade was here to endure it.  To walk me through the emotion and to encourage me along the way through this enduring process.

But now he is 662.4 miles away and although FaceTime is a vital necessity to our relationship these days, my emotions come way to often to ring Wade's phone off of the hook, therefore I have been forced to rely on comfort solely from the Lord.  And it's been good.  Hard.  But good.

My house has been extra loud at times and believe me when I say that all hell has tried to come against me in the last few days and it has been anything but easy.  However, I have had an inner peace that comes only from the Lord.   A peace that has allowed me to move forward and push myself to pray more, hand over my feelings in a raw, sometimes un-composed way and spend my quiet time reflecting on how He has been growing me for this very moment all along.

You see, the Lord doesn't just push you out into your destiny without a plan, without preparing you for the journey.  That would be like me pushing my child into the deep end of the pool without giving her any prior swimming lessons.  I just wouldn't do that and neither would the Great Creator.  He has a plan and He has truly gone before us.  He is not going to push me out into deep waters without preparing me beforehand.  Better yet, He helps me to swim when the deep waves get overwhelming.  There are many days that I feel out of control, but I am learning those are the best days.  That He is teaching me to let up my need to control and allow me to come to Him with a clear mind and open hands ready to receive the next steps.  The true example of living day to day without having the NEED for a long term plan.  He is also teaching me to let go.

Over the last few days, I have missed my husband so very much.  But at the same time I have seen His provision while being here "alone."  I have had dinner brought to me by friends, I have had sleep overs full of staying up way too late and I have received countless texts and calls to make sure I am ok.  I am also realizing that with each passing day, the Lord is preparing me to give up the "things" around me and realize that my home is where He leads us.  My home is where we are all united together and when we are in His Will, that is where Life is.

That is what I am after.  To experience LIFE and life to the fullest.  A life that is surrendered and dedicated to my Maker, one that constantly grows, lets go when needed and moves forward until He calls me Home.
My true home.