Saying Goodbye.3:21:00 PM
Standing at Brickhouse Tavern in the heart of Davidson, North Carolina, I awaited some long time friends who had been a part of my life since grade school. It was 2009 and our high school days had long been over and the college memories we once had were soon fading away into our new and very different seasons of life. One was a newlywed, the other was patiently waiting on her one day husband and I had just welcomed home my second baby. We chatted about only God knows what, but over a glass of wine and something fried, I remember this night as being the night that a deep seed was planted in my life.
Dinner was almost over and as we were closing out the night, my friend sat across from me and started a conversation about my blog. I had just written a post about my anniversary and from there she went on to say words that even she probably doesn't remember.
"I always knew you were a good writer in school, but I didn't know you were as good as you really are."
I remember standing there and I am sure that my unconfident-self mumbled something with humility or a meek thank you, but on the inside I found myself leaping and surprised. Something resonated inside of me and I left that night knowing that what she said had MEANT something. Something deep.
You see, I started my blog in 2009 for an outlet of creativity and expression. I was a stay at home mom with a desire to get outside of myself and my daily stack of to-do's and speak words of encouragement to others who may be enduring this same, exciting but also at times very lonely season of staying at home with little ones. I started writing with very little words and a few pictures of my cuties (here is my very first post). Over time, I began adding more words and extra doses of confidence. With each post I would add a little more personal detail and take small steps of bravery in sharing what I was learning as my faith in Jesus grew, but was also still very young and new. When Wade Nagy lost his job, the safe place of blogging about cute kids and mommy moments soon took a turn down the road of real, raw emotion and hard places of asking God for miracles, provision and new opportunities. You all journeyed with us and it was during this time that not only did our faith grow in our Creator, but I realized that He was using my very story of strife and hardship to minister to others in their hard seasons. I learned that during this time the best way to get out of my hard place of anxiety and doubt was to spend some time in front of the computer writing all the inner parts of my heart for all of you so that our testimonies could encourage one another. I learned that people actually wanted to hear what God was doing in our life, even when it was hard to bare and walk through. People cared and more so, people needed hope. God was creating hope through my blog, through my story and in turn, He was giving me life by simply sharing my heart.
I would watch in amazement as many of you would share my words and how God used my stories, experiences and thoughts to minister to your hearts. Overtime, I created this confidence in knowing that usually when I LEAST wanted to write and even more when I least wanted to share it to the world, was when He was using me the most.
Over the last 7 years, you have journeyed with our family through our beginning stages of parenthood, family adventures and birthday celebrations.
You have ventured into the hard places with us as we endured job losses, Medicaid, food stamps and survival that only came because of our God and His many people that helped us along the way.
You celebrated with us when the miracle job came and you watched our family step into our first big journey together as a family of four.
You rejoiced with us when our family multiplied from 4 to 6 in a short amount of time and you have read about the miracles of healing and supernatural breakthrough when our babies were still in the womb.
You encouraged us and supported us in our dreams of homebuilding, starting our own businesses and my desires to design and create something new out of old, unwanted things.
You were my cheerleaders when I poured out my heart when God pried open my hands and moved me to Florida, leaving behind so many comforts and people I loved.
It has been a whirlwind of a journey, where some days have seemed like an eternity, while the years have slipped through my fingers bringing much perspective to just how fast this life is really going by.
Which is why... I am writing my very last post on this blog.
One of the many things that I have learned this past year is, in order to move forward in the new, you must allow God to lay down the old. We constantly tend to want to drag old luggage into the new season that God is trying to create and sometimes, we just need to leave it on the baggage claim.
I have learned that my sentimental personality is constantly being challenged and molded and that He has some really awesome, NEW things for me down the turn pipe but I just can't keep carrying what He did for me in the past into what He wants to do for me in the future.
So I am laying it down.
Today, I am writing my last blog and closing the door to This Whole House for good.
I feel myself going back to the words that my friend spoke to me sitting at the booth of Brickhouse Tavern.
I love to write. I always have. I am not sure how good I am at the actual writing part, after all I am a horrible speller and I often get too lazy to proofread and edit like I probably should. But I love when God uses me and our story. And even behind closed doors, my pen hits the paper almost daily. But as for now this is my new season. A season of where God continues to write our story without the public platform.
So goodbye, This Whole House. Thank you for being a place that I could share my life with others and watch God speak through it. Thank you for growing my confidence through the successes AND the failures. And Thank YOU for reading. Thank you for all the kind words, encouragement and motivation over the last 7 years. I truly value you who have journeyed with us.
(and all of the Nagy people who live in this whole house)