Inspire Me: Just Write

Are you ready to be Inspired?

Just wait till you read the words from this fellow blog reader, friend and dreamer...

 Laura Stainback.

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Have you ever wanted something so badly you could taste it? Let’s dive further. Have you ever been so close to your dream but you were riddled with fear… and even though you wanted it, you weren’t sure if you were suppose to Have it, Be it, or Do it??

I’m am 3+ years in the making of trying to accomplish a dream. A dream held ever since I was a kid. The first time I held a novel in my hand and lost myself in it. The first time I realized I wanted to tell a story too. 

I wanted to be a writer. I love writing. Any kind of writing. When I was in high school I was in journalism and yearbook and loved the process. I loved writing papers for classes. I’d take an essay any day over a multiple choice test. Yes I’m weird, I accept that. 

But I am not a born writer. I definitely do NOT have a gift for writing in the technical sense. I can tell a story though. My high school English teacher, who I adore, was one of my biggest critics. He actually told me he was scared for my college career.  I had great ideas but basically sucked at writing them. That hurt. Dream crushed. I went on to college, I dabbled in a few different majors before I landed on Communications/Public Relations. Again, loved the writing aspect of my journalism classes I had to take. And I did great on my papers in school. Tests not so much, but maybe if I had spent as much time studying for those as I spent on my “extra curricular” activities (wink wink) I would have done better.

But life took center stage. Friends, boyfriends, marriage, then kids. Writing, telling a story was way on the back burner. Then one day about 4 years ago. I had an idea for a romance story and it was like the light bulb went on again and I heard my inside voice say “Oh yeah, I used to like doing that!”  I wrote a synopsis and started at it for six months before I heard another voice this time shout at me “WOULD YOU DO IT ALREADY??” So I did. I wrote one chapter then the next then next. And before I knew I had sixteen chapters!!

No, unfortunately this did not happen overnight. It took me 2 years to get to that point!! I had kindergartner who I had to homeschool (forced choice) plus twin baby girls who were graduating from baby stage to toddler stage. And I worked part-time too at a retail shop. So when I did have free time I surely didn’t want to write, NO this girl wanted sleep and lots of it!!

I would read of how the latest popular author had written her book in three months. I found myself frustrated and well rather ticked off. How did they do it in 3 months. They had kids, babies, how did they find the time???!! What was my problem?

Well, my problem was priorities. I had other priorities that frankly held a higher importance to writing a silly little book. But it was my silly book, and I wanted to finish it. So I kept going. Sometimes I would write everyday. Sometimes I wouldn’t open my computer for weeks or months at times. But I kept going. Little here, little there.  

The writing process slowed as we hit more obstacles: moves happened, new jobs happened, life happened. And writing seemed to come to a snail’s pace. I found the discouragement again. Actually pretty recently. “Its never going to happen. Your going to be stuck on chapter such and such forever!!” Then, today I decided to print the whole thing out, all that I had written thus far. 

So here I am near completion. There are some holes left to be filled. Two and a half chapters that are in progress and not yet complete. But here I sit staring at 26 chapters and 351 pages of writing and 3+ years of work. Seeing this binder filled full of MY words, with MY story… the taste is so sweet. Seeing it alive not just somewhere in the computer’s infinite space. Real pages I can touch. Its almost there.

We have a lot of struggles in life. Some dreams die yes. But sometimes we give up too soon. When the going gets tough, we get weaker. Don’t. As my pastor once said Don’t Stop on Six. God told Joshua to have his troops march around the walls of Jericho once everyday for six days. And on the seventh day after marching and giving a shout the walls came down. Don’t Stop on Six. They had to trust God. They didn’t know it was actually going to happen. The Israelites probably thought Joshua was crazy for commanding they do this. But they obeyed. What if you stopped today… and you were on day six (not knowing it was day six). Day seven would never come, those walls would never fall down. Don’t Stop. Don’t give up. If its in your heart, something you want to accomplish.  Don’t give up.

I don’t know what will happen with this binder. I plan to send it off when its complete. My story may never see anything but this white binder cover. I will continue to hope for greatness for it… (or the next one)  but the level of satisfaction I felt watching those hundreds of pages print out… sitting here looking at this binder… that satisfaction feels so good.