Unrelenting Dreams3:06:00 PM
I didn't realize how nervous I would be to write this post until today came. I've never really put much emphasis on my writing before and the pressure almost made me want to quit before I even started. I know it sounds silly because it's just a blog, but it always seems that when you finally decide to DO something towards a dream, there is always some sort of block. Mine is usually always mental.
I remember the day that I started this blog.
In 2009, just after my second born, I was sitting in front of my computer and somehow stumbled upon someone else's words. Her words encouraged me in a simple way and I remember thinking… I can do that. I was probably still in my pajamas that morning and I'm pretty sure that I looked a mess, given that I had a newborn and an 18 month toddler running around. But despite the messy hair, the pjs and the breakfast that was probably still sitting on the table, I remember that feeling of passion that always comes forth when you have a dream. Something ignites inside of you. And like with any new dream… you hit it hard and run after it full speed. (Or at least I do.) But somewhere a long the way, life gets hard and dreams seem to die down. Dreams get put on the back burner for later or maybe it just seems that it wasn't for you. Or my favorite… maybe now isn't the time.
I am a dreamer. I have many dreams.
I want to be a writer one day that inspires many and carries His truth to people that may be sitting in their pjs with spit up on their shirt. I want to go to Africa and wash some little babies feet, while singing Jesus Loves Me to their little hearts. I want to stand beside a stage and watch my husband deliver a powerful word to people in other countries and watch millions give their life to the Lord. I want our family to build a home and I want to go crazy with all the decorating. I want an old school bus that is painted by kids on the outside and on the inside has clothes, food and other needed items… Then I would drive that bus into the poorest part of the city and let people come and get what they need. And my craziest dream… I dream of being a ballet dancer. Not for anyone else to see… just me and the Lord.
Pretty much all of these dreams are impossible. They just are. Especially the dancing. I mean come on… some of you may even remember my clubbing days. I. CAN'T. DANCE. So why would God give me such crazy dreams that He wouldn't allow me to accomplish? I don't think He does.
I think Life sometimes causes us to relent on our dreams, big or small. But God is unrelenting. He never stops pursuing us and He wants to set us up for success. I have small dreams too. Like to make it through the day or to be a better teacher/ mom to my kids. I think God sees these as the same… big and small, equally important. It all matters to Him.
So why do we give up so easy? I know that when I stop thinking about my dreams, my joy leaves. And when my joy leaves, I have a very hard time just making it through a typical day. And that sucks.
It just does.
But when I am dreaming… wow. I can accomplish anything. Anything seems possible and I am moved by the excitement. Dreaming allows us to push forward through our current circumstances by creating hope for the future!! And God is honored through that. He is honored when we have joy and when we have hope. It is from that place of contentment, that we can be the Light that we are called to be.
I don't know if I will see all of my dreams come into fruition during my lifetime. But I do know that without dreams, my joy is lost. So I am determined not to focus on the outcome, but to focus on the Dream Giver. It is through Him that there is joy, peace, hope and true contentment.
So I say to YOU that this is the year to Dream. And the year to Do. Do what you love and change what you don't. Just say no to what makes you blah and say YES to what gives you joy. Dream big. Even if it seems impossible. Keep dreaming. Cause God does not relent and He doesn't want your dreams to either.